Grace to Yourself

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.

Philippians 1:6

Because this is my first piece, I will take the time to introduce myself.

I am choosing to write under the pseudonym “Arukah” as I would like to share pieces of me and my life vulnerably without giving up my privacy. Arukah means restoration in Hebrew and is a process close to my heart.

So, who is Arukah? I am a Jesus girl that is continuously working out her salvation, learning and unlearning, falling and getting back up but all of this in the presence of a gracious, loving, merciful and patient God, because what has He not endured on my journey? I fully believe I am Gods favourite, and before you come for me, the way that He shows up for me will not allow for anyone to tell me otherwise. You can be His favourite too but, in my world, I am the apple of His eye.

I work in corporate and am doing the “climb that corporate ladder” girl boss thing. It is a competitive industry and a very demanding job with a wide footprint across a few countries, so the workload is not light. I have a teenage daughter that is the apple of my eye. She is literally my heart walking around outside my body. No other facet of my life has brought me so much joy, gratitude, and growth. She has stretched me beyond what I thought possible and held up a mirror closer to my face than any other thing in this life. So, as I navigate the big imperfect world of corporate, I am also navigating teen mum life which is a journey that comes with its own highs and lows.

Added to that I have never been married. God has been clear about His desire of marriage for me, but it has not happened yet. So, another facet of my life includes navigating the dating world as a single parent close to forty that desires more children in the ghetto dating pool that is 2o25. I was never ready for the challenge of desiring a Godly spouse in this current environment and with my set of circumstances.

I am of diverse origin and was raised in a beautiful tapestry of multicultural environments, so my views, path and approach are not specific to any one specific cultural norm. I am hoping that this allows wider reach and that each person that reads it will be able to relate with bits and pieces of what I share. Isn’t God special in how He weaves in these intricacies into our lives long before we even think of needing them.

Now that that is out of the way I want to share a quick reminder to all on something I often struggle with and that is accepting that Gods love is unconditional and not based on our performance. The intentionality with which I pursue God in working out my salvation is not the performance that earns me Gods love. His love precedes the existence of any effort on my part.

I gave my life to the Lord as a teenager; the number of times I have back slidden is crazy. And the pattern I picked up is that whenever I messed up, the guilt that overcame me was immense. The shame and feeling that I had failed and disappointed God created so much distance between me and God that the recovery time was extended beyond what it should ever be. I would avoid the one being that was always there, equipped, able and willing to help me recover from the fall, Jesus. God’s love for me does not change based on my actions. He knows I will fall, He knows I will mess up and fail at certain things. He knows the deepest darkest fears, hurts and thoughts that I am too scared to acknowledge myself. The things I keep so deeply buried within myself and refuse to acknowledge because that does not align with being a Christian and what I have defined as acceptable. Knowing all of that He still chooses to love me unconditionally. And same for you. The Alpha and Omega still chose to die for each one of us knowing our infallibility and ability to disappoint Him in the most spectacular of ways.

So here is a reminder that God knows you are going to fail and fall short. He is not judging you in your time of weakness, He is extending His gracious hand ready to help you up and rebuild what was broken and restore you to where you should be all the while creatively weaving this misstep into the tapestry of your life’s journey as a lesson that will equip you for something down the line.

You and I, however get to decide how long we sit in it before we reach for His hand. It is always available. The longer we self-condemn the higher the cost of restoration, and this can be in the form of time lost to sitting in that situation/state that separates you from your Father and path; or even the pain we are exposed to by that situation that creates things we now need to heal from.

As it is with your GPS when you miss the intended exit; the longer you keep on the current path, missing the exits the reroute offers you to correct the path the increased time it takes to reach your destination. No, it does not mean you never get to reach your destination, it will just take longer to get there and cost more. So whilst we are in that messy situation we feel has caused separation and shame and disconnect, in that place of sin and shortcomings, that is when we should ask God to come in and save us. He is Lord and Saviour, right? So, reach out to the Saviour in your time of need. That is when you need the salvation, and He wants you to access it because it is fully available to you always. My experience is the sooner, the better.

So, I end my intro with the reminder that being Christian means living a life that reflects the character of Christ, and that includes His grace. It starts with you, in the same way He is gracious, be gracious to you as well as those around you. Do not be so quick to judge and write yourself off, He is not and neither should you. I promise He is not waiting to catch you out and inflict punishment.

Arukah

xoxo